Truthfully, most business emails... kind of suck. School teaches and rewards us for using creative language and drawn-out, flowery writing. But all of that translates terribly when writing business emails where you need to keep things succinct, a little humorous (if possible or appropriate) and to the point. Most founders are not marketing experts or professional writers. In fact, most emails written by founders are, in a word… terrible. (Sorry! Kind of… ) So, what do you do?

We covered this topic in an episode of Uncapped Notes, Hustle Fund’s low-budget and snarky YouTube series that demystifies VC and startups for first-time founders. In this episode, co-hosts Eric Bahn and Janel Spilker take a bite of what they call the “call-to-action sandwich,” show viewers what constitutes a bad business email, and explain how you can make your business emails better.

Let’s break it down.

What makes a bad business email?

According to Eric and Janel, the top mistakes founders make when writing emails are:

• They’re way too long.
• There’s no clear call to action (CTA).
• The formatting is terrible. (And, frankly, a turn off that could lead to an unsubscribe.)

Please don’t feel bad. Most schools (college included) teach us to fluff up our writing with lots of flowery language so that we meet a certain word or page count. But the reality is that less is more, and you need to speak volumes with as few words as possible.

What makes a good business email?

The keys to an effective business email are:

• The language is simple.
• The CTA is clear.
• And the format is scannable by using a ton of bullet points.

Sure, you’re not going to win a Pulitzer Prize from email copy that meets these requirements, but that email will be well-received by most people who open it. How can you tell? By trackable data like open rates, time on page, click through rates and, of course, sales, registrants, social media followers or whatever your goal was in the first place.

How to make your own call-to-action sandwich

In this episode of “Uncapped Notes,” Eric and Janel walk through Janel’s email reply to a sponsorship inquiry. In this email, Janel is trying to open the door to make a sale. So if you’re looking to generate revenue via email, pay attention.

• Start with a personalized greeting. (I.e., “Hi [insert name here]” instead of “to whom it may concern”)
• The bread: Address the CTA in the first line of text in your email.
• The filling: Break down the steps to accomplish the shared goal for both the sender and receiver – in this example, creating a sponsorship – into a simple bulleted list.
• The second slice of bread: This should once again acknowledge their commitment and essentially repeat what you said in the first sentence.
• Lastly, end with a personalized signature. Avoid boring sign-offs like “sincerely” or “regards” at the end of emails. You could try "warmly", "hope to talk soon," etc.

Why do I need to use bulleted lists?

Simple.

• They’re scannable and allow the reader to quickly understand your message.
• They eliminate the risk of a reader getting distracted while reading your email.
• They make it easy yo know what needs to happen next.

Use email templates to save time

Founders are stretched for time. One way to cut down on writing each and every email from scratch is to pre-save common emails you send as templates. Many email platforms have templates that will even populate the receiver’s first name for you. All in all, this email could take you only seconds to draft and send.

Watch the complete episode of “Uncapped notes” here.

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